dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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