Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
