she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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