So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
