i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize