she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
