Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
