so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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