yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
