No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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