I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
