remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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