i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
