dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
