Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
