you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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