I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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