You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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