Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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