Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
