i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize