Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
