so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize