im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
