well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
