i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
