Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
