Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize