i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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