we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
