There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
