Moan for me like Helen Keller
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
