I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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