i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
