They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
