Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
