Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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