if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
