I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
