Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
