having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
