is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
