she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
