hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
