I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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