so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
My liver just had a heart attack.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Randomize
