...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
