batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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