So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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