Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Dignity is for republicans.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
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