JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize