I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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