tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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