Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
