Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I came so hard my ears popped.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
