GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
