my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
