If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
