If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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