You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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